Similes

First, I want to say thanks to those of you who have left comments so far! I’ve received a few e-mails from readers who said they are having fun with the exercises. Be brave–post your answers! (I guess I need to post some, too!) And remember, everyone who posts comments during this week will have their name placed in a drawing for some of my excess books, so grab a pen and paper, have a little fun, and post a comment.

Similes…

You don’t have to venture very far into a Raymond Chandler novel to find a simile. He used them frequently and well. One that comes to my mind was the description he used when the character Phillip Marlowe first encountered a woman who was attempting to seduce him. He said, “Her legs had more tone than a lyric poem.”

Some people confuse metaphors and similes. Usually similes use comparison words–as, than, and like. They are fairly easy to spot. Metaphors leave off the comparison. For example: “He is a pig!” would be a metaphor. “Personality is to a man what perfume is to a flower” (Charles Schwab) is a simile. (We’ll discuss metaphors in a future post.)

Many poems employ similes. Here’s a well-known poem with several examples of similes:

“As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.”

Other similes from that same poem by Clement Clark Moore include:

“He looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.”

“His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!”

“He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.”

Moore incorporates similes throughout the entire poem, which is fine for poetry. But, in writing other prose, like cayenne pepper, we must sprinkle our writing carefully with similes and other prose-perking tools. Otherwise, it will be over done.

Another consideration for similes is to keep them in character. What do I mean by that? Here’s an example:

“My heart pounded against my chest with the same insistency as a Fuller Brush salesman with an impossible sales quota banging on a door.”

That line was scrapped from my WIP. Why? It describes a startled character. BUT…my character is NOT a sales rep, therefore, she wouldn’t readily identify with the anxiety and stress associated with meeting an impossible sales quota. (Not to mention that the novel is a contemporary and door-to-door salesmen are nearly obsolete these days.)

I had to re-write the description to describe my character’s emotions in a manner consistent with her life. Since she is a sports photographer, she would think along the lines of athletes, not Fuller Brush salesmen. So my final choice fits better in her setting:

“My heart pounds against my chest with the same force as a linebacker smashing into a tackle dummy.”

That phrase might not work to describe some women, but since the reader knows my character is a sports photographer, it makes sense. Any phrase that doesn’t “fit” can pull the reader from “book world,” which is a bad, bad thing!

Another caution with similes is to watch for cliched phrases. “White as snow.” “Lips as red as a rose.” Invent fresh phrases that are in character with your story.

Today’s Exercise:

Flip through the pages of a book or two–classic or contemporary or from your own work–and find at least five similes. Do they fit the character and setting? Are they cliched phrases? If they are fresh and interesting, please share them.

Filed under Perk Up Your Prose |